Blushing:Coping With Social Anxiety

I will tell you a true story. If you believe me you will be well rewarded. If you dont believe me, I will make it worth your while to change your mind. Let me explain.

Two years ago I sat opposite a date. My hands were trembling and my heart was pounding. I was uncomfortable and so was she, who wouldnt be - I was a total mess. I was trying to maintain eye contact but each time I caught her eye, my face became brighter and redder, so I just stopped looking at her. I felt terrible. She asked if I was ok, I lied and said yes. The conversation was awkward and when the dinner was over, we were both relieved.

These embarrassing situations used to happen to me DAILY. Knowing I had a problem with blushing and focusing on it only seemed to make matters worse. I felt that I couldnt talk to anyone about it and I spiraled into a deep depression.

I started holing up in my room and began avoiding work, friends and family. I was at one of the lowest points in my life and I felt pathetic. What made it worse was that I knew other people would see my problem as silly and so I spoke to no one about it. Instead I started searching for a cure by myself.

A Search for a Cure
I thought I could hide my blushing with make up. As a man I had never done this before and applying facial cream seemed like a smart idea at the time. I walked into a local cosmetics store and bought a skin toner, went into the bathroom and applied it onto my face. I looked like a zombie but I thought at least no one would notice me if I blushed. However, when walking down the high street everyone kept giving me strange looks. People were looking at me as if I were some type of burn victim. I vowed never to do this again. Luckily I had a back up plan.

I came across a surgery called ETS which would cut the blood vessels in my face. This would make it physically impossible for me to blush again. It sounded like the perfect solution, but then I did more research. I found out that many of the surgeries where unsuccessful and possible side effects included the inability to raise your heart rate during exercise so you would never be able to play any sport again. Excessive sweating could occur in other areas of your body including your crotch (ew!). Also there was an increased possibility of heat stroke, even in mild temperatures. Its no wonder that the countries of Sweden and Taiwan banned the procedure. The risk was just too great and I needed to find something more natural.

Ive seen herbal remedies work before. I drink green tea regularly to give me energy and Ive had acupuncture which stopped some back pain. So you can imagine the disappointment that began to build as I tried one herbal remedy after another, with absolutely no affect at all. I bought over a dozen different products and it left me with nothing but frustration and a red face. In fact, only one of them made even the slightest of differences. Leaving the herbal remedies behind I did something Id been dreading for a long time.

If you tell someone that youre in therapy then their first reaction is that youre crazy. So I kept it as a secret from my friends and family, but I learned a lot. I learned about myself and how peoples minds work. I discovered how emotions, thoughts and behaviors all relate to one another and how you can control them. I tried implementing what they taught me in therapy but none of it seemed to work. I felt like I was getting a good education on the workings of the mind, but I wasnt getting a cure. In fact, what I thought were initial improvements soon disappeared and I ended up with the same blushing problems as before. My self esteem plummeted as I saw myself as this giant loser unable to overcome any of my problems. Therapy wasnt working so I stopped going to save money.

I was now blushing at everything. If someone said hello - I would blush. If a little child looked at me I would blush. Even if someone handed me a piece of paper, I would start to blush.